Nothing Happens At Ten

DG got his attitude straightened out again. He is back in the spirit and sends greetings to all of our readers.

We have hung our stockings by the chimney with care…

Then I noticed that DG has hung his stocking upside down.

Me: DG, why did you hang your stocking upside down?

DG: That’s to keep Santa from putting coal in it.

Me: Why are you assuming that Santa is going to put coal in your sock?

DG: 2020

Me: Oh. ‘Nuff said.

DG finally decided to put on the Santa Suit to cheer things up.

Is that really DG in there? It’s hard to tell.

Who is that really….. is that Rock Hudson?

No… wait a minute… it looks more like Alfred E. Neuman!

HAHAHAHA… I crack myself up!

Christmas is coming, and DG went off to find his Santa Suit.

He found it, but then he considered leaving it like that and calling it “art” since it so neatly expresses the situation that we are in this year.

I told him to go ahead and put it on. Jolly is better.

You can now go shopping wicked early, avoiding the crowds.

Hey, DG, you aren’t even supposed to be here. You are only 50 years old.

Go home and go back to bed.

You now can make Sourdough Bread.

Well, OK…. you now have made Sourdough Bread.

But look on the bright side; it’s not all bad.

Made into smaller loaves, they can be used for street hockey.

You can also hurl it, like Oddjob’s hat, at the squirrels dining at your bird feeder.

Stay safe; don’t break a tooth.

You will never have to buy toilet paper ever again.

At least that’s true if you hoarded toilet paper like DG did…. shame on you for hoarding…. shame shame….. unlike the rest of us who….. uh…… oh…. Hey, DG, could I borrow one of those rolls?

As with most everyone, we are celebrating a smaller, simpler Thanksgiving this year.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Stay safe.

The authorities are telling us to practice “Social Distancing”. So that is what DG is doing.

Unfortunately, DG thinks that “Social Distancing” means looking down his nose at everybody else.

“DG”, I said, “You are misunderstanding the term ‘Social Distancing”. It does not mean socially excluding everybody else. It means putting physical distance between you and other people, not being snooty.”

DG: “Well that’s dumb. Why didn’t they say that? Why didn’t they call it ‘Physical Distancing’ or ‘Safe Distancing’ or ‘Keep ya distance distancing’ or ‘Backoff!’ distancing?”

Me: “I don’t know, but do us all a favor and put your mask back on”.

Now that you are spending so much time Zooming, you finally have the perfect excuse to upgrade that horrid little laptop computer you have been using for so long.

As you are probably already aware, computers are powered by smoke. You know that is true because as soon as the smoke leaks out, the computer stops working.

So to avoid the risk of being offline, you should go ahead and replace it with something that is bigger/better/faster, right?

Well, I guess they just don’t make things like they used to.