Nothing Happens At Ten

You will never have to buy toilet paper ever again.

At least that’s true if you hoarded toilet paper like DG did…. shame on you for hoarding…. shame shame….. unlike the rest of us who….. uh…… oh…. Hey, DG, could I borrow one of those rolls?

As with most everyone, we are celebrating a smaller, simpler Thanksgiving this year.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Stay safe.

The authorities are telling us to practice “Social Distancing”. So that is what DG is doing.

Unfortunately, DG thinks that “Social Distancing” means looking down his nose at everybody else.

“DG”, I said, “You are misunderstanding the term ‘Social Distancing”. It does not mean socially excluding everybody else. It means putting physical distance between you and other people, not being snooty.”

DG: “Well that’s dumb. Why didn’t they say that? Why didn’t they call it ‘Physical Distancing’ or ‘Safe Distancing’ or ‘Keep ya distance distancing’ or ‘Backoff!’ distancing?”

Me: “I don’t know, but do us all a favor and put your mask back on”.

Now that you are spending so much time Zooming, you finally have the perfect excuse to upgrade that horrid little laptop computer you have been using for so long.

As you are probably already aware, computers are powered by smoke. You know that is true because as soon as the smoke leaks out, the computer stops working.

So to avoid the risk of being offline, you should go ahead and replace it with something that is bigger/better/faster, right?

Well, I guess they just don’t make things like they used to.

Even though it is Monday, since you have nowhere to go, you can sleep until noon.

Hey….. wait a minute!……. how’s that different from what you were doing before the lockdown?

Oops. I thought you were asleep.

We have now been through three spooky events in recent weeks, to wit:

1. Halloween
2. Changing all the clocks
3. The Election from Heck

Now that we have survived those and they are over and done with (as far as we can tell)…. and it looks like we will be in the lockdown for a while longer…..  we need a new Upside of the Lockdown.

Here it is: You now have plenty of time to pursue that hobby that you never had the time to spend on before, like painting.

Um…. I sure hope that isn’t supposed to be a portrait of me.

Hey, DG, maybe you should try tatting instead.

Everyone is wearing a mask these days, which makes it difficult to tell what anyone looks like.

That makes you almost as good looking as Rock Hudson.

But…. it also makes you almost as good looking as Alfred E. Neuman.

Sorry, but it cuts both ways.