I was over at the Fallapartment this morning chopping the ice off of the front steps. The ice is about 3 inches thick now because the ice dams in the gutters over the steps melt and dribble water on them, the dribble of which freezes into a stalagmite of ice that is stuck permanently to the steps.
Well, it seems that the Fallapartment can jinx other objects as well as itself, so my ice chopper fell apart. The blade just fell off of the stick. And since it was spot-welded on in the first place, there was no hope of me fixing it.
Off I ran to the Home Depot to get a new one. I arrived just in time to see the last one go out the door with some other guy.
Here is a revised review of Home Depot.
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So off I went to Lowe’s, just to find out that they had sold all of their ice choppers long ago. They suggested that I try one of their plastic snow shovels.
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They were both also out of ice melt and roof rakes and metal snow shovels that might actually stand up to snow. They both did have lots of lawn gear and fertilizer and gas grilles and mowers. One wonders who decides what to stock in February at the Big Box stores.
Seeing a pattern, I gave up and went back to the Fallapartment and flailed at the ice with my aluminum shovel, which now looks like this:
The Fallapartment can do wonderous things to property. Uri Geller, eat your heart out!